Ordinarily, I would assume that the plot, characters, and structure of The Phantom Menace would be common knowledge. However, since Star Wars’ first prequel was released over twenty years ago, the movie might take the same place in some of our readers’ minds as Xanadu (an early prequel in the Percy Jackson universe, if I remember correctly) does in mine — namely, as a bizarre, prehistoric artifact of an ancient, long-dead people referenced in illuminated writings and various cave scrawlings. Consequently, an explanation may be in order. 

The Phantom Menace was the first of a series of three prequels meant to describe the events that took place before the events portrayed in Star Wars and its subsequent sequels. More specifically, the prequels provide the narrative arc that led Anakin Skywalker to become Darth Vader, the N95-masked and ventilator-equipped antagonist of the Star Wars universe. 

In The Phantom Menace, it’s revealed that Anakin Skywalker was born in an anarcho-capitalist utopia, in which trade disputes are mediated by sword-wielding ninja warriors called “Jedi” and, when mediation fails, each counterparty to the contractual dispute deploys privately funded militaries to settle their grievances. Born a slave, a pair of Jedi discover that Anakin has a genetic condition that would enable him to become a very successful Jedi as well. So, using their supernaturally-honed sense of right and wrong, they proceed to engage in a mutually beneficial financial relationship with Anakin’s owner that results in the purchase of Anakin’s freedom but not the purchase of his mother’s freedom. 

Did I mention that the universe of The Phantom Menace is an anarcho-capitalist utopia?

One of the recurring manifestations of Anakin’s genetic condition, which shall remain nameless because [Editor’s note: We removed David’s 2,417-word profanity-laced rant against midichlorians as a service to our readers. Please express your thanks in the form of recurring donations here], is an impossibly high amount of luck. Through the power of his luck — or, as the Jedi call it, The Force — he is able to win a high-speed vehicular race, disable an invading droid army by single-handedly destroying its command-and-control vessel, and successfully flirt with a queen even though he’s just nine and she’s fourteen.

Anakin, however, is not the only character in The Phantom Menace with impossible amounts of luck. There is another.

Jar Jar Binks, an alien with a Jamaican accent, ostensibly serves as childlike comic relief. In that role, he frequently bumbles semi-destructively through several misadventures, nearly sabotaging the protagonists on several occasions, all while repeating various catchphrases. Towards the end of The Phantom Menace, his bumbling is, for once, immensely beneficial to the protagonists (in that it is quite destructive to the antagonists) and their allies and he helps save the day.

A few years back, a popular internet meme bubbled from the depths of Reddit that explained how Jar Jar Binks wasn’t a comic fool at all. Instead, the author argued, he was actually a Sith Lord, the ultimate evil in the Star Wars universe. The core of the argument is that Jar Jar, like Anakin, is impossibly lucky in exactly the same ways Anakin is. While Anakin destroys a droid army command vessel, Jar Jar successfully destroys an army column. Additionally, Jar Jar is somehow promoted as a general, then later as a senator, despite having no military or political experience. It’s almost as if he can Force people into changing their minds.

All of that, by itself, only demonstrates the possibility that Jar Jar Binks is a Force user — a potential Jedi, in other words. A Sith Lord, however, is an evil Jedi. Being a Sith Lord requires intent. Demonstrating intent, the Reddit post explains how Jar Jar successfully manipulated his way into the current of events, undermined Jedi authority in the eyes of Anakin, and sparks Anakin’s infatuation with Queen Amidala, whose ultimate demise triggers Anakin’s fall to the Dark Side and his transformation into Darth Vader. 

In short, by acting the incompetent fool, Jar Jar Binks is able to insert himself into the highest positions of trust, power and privilege. From there, he was able to successfully advance his sinister agenda. 

This brings me to the current mayor of Las Vegas. 

Ordinarily, when presented with someone of Mayor Goodman’s talents, I would utilize Hanlon’s Razor and refuse to attribute malice to that which can be satisfactorily explained through stupidity. Ordinarily, this would be a healthy attitude to adopt. We’re all stupid about something, after all, and we would all prefer to be given the benefit of the doubt when our ignorance inadvertently harms others. Why should we not extend her the same courtesy that we would like to see extended to ourselves? Besides, she clearly isn’t very bright. 

The difference between ignorance and malice, however, is what happens when new information is brought to our attention. When we’re being harmful out of ignorance, new information gives us the perspective we need to prevent future harm. When we’re being harmful out of malice, on the other hand, new information reinforces our intent since it proves that we’re hurting the right people.

With that in mind, Mayor Goodman started the week with a very unfortunate interview on MSNBC. The next day, she was interviewed for a full half hour by Anderson Cooper on CNN. Did she use the time between her MSNBC interview and her CNN interview to reconsider her message, to fine tune it, to finesse it into something broadly popular and effective? Did she use her time to bring balance to her message and the needs of public health?

Of course not. In fact, she doubled down. 

Doubled down on what, exactly? During both interviews, she presented what sounded, at least on the surface, as a pro-freedom, pro-business, and pro-worker message. Reopen Las Vegas (actual and observed) and get people back to work. At bumper sticker depth, this sounds reasonable enough and there is admittedly a grain of truth to it. A lot of businesses are closed and aren’t going to reopen. A lot of people are currently out of work and are unable to pay their bills. Put the two together and many of the paths used to generate the wealth required to support a reasonable standard of living for everyone are gone, probably to never return again. 

So what does Mayor Goodman want to do about it? 

The answer is she wants everyone to get back to work, virus be damned. “Everybody has it,” after all, at least in her mind, and the desert heat will cook it off if Las Vegans simply get outside more. If you’re a business owner, in her mind, you’ll either protect your employees and customers from the virus or you’ll get sued into oblivion. If you’re a laborer, you’ll either show up to work or die trying. Las Vegas shall be the “control,” with all doors wide open (would she volunteer to be a control subject to test the efficacy of parachutes, I wonder?), while the rest of the world takes the steps necessary to combat the previous epidemics she lived through. Live free (to serve as waitstaff for hire) or die.

That isn’t the logic of a wealth creator. It’s the logic of a slave master. 

Wealth creators seek to build wealth that builds additional wealth. Wealth creators see people as additional builders of wealth, each individual capable of bringing something unique and special into the world that doesn’t currently exist. The death of an individual is the death of his or her ability to add to the wealth of knowledge, experience, joy, and yes, material that individual contributed to the whole.

Slave masters, on the other hand, seek to extract wealth from the labor of others. They see wealth as a means to an end — their own self-aggrandizement. They see all wealth, whether human or machine, as disposable, consumable and interchangeable. Their goal is to maximize the wealth, status and prestige they extract from the world around them while minimizing the amount of energy and effort they have to put into doing so. Most importantly, they live to be served, preferably in public. When you see a middle-aged male protester demanding that strip clubs reopen, that’s a rent-to-own slave master demanding the help take his orders again. He doesn’t care about the health of the stripper, nor does he care about the health of the strip club. Like all aspiring slave masters, he cares only about his wants, his needs, and his costs.

Similarly, Mayor Goodman, in her mind, only looks good as long as Las Vegas looks good, and Las Vegas only looks good as long as the slot machines on Fremont Street (unlike The Strip, Fremont Street is actually within city limits) are humming. So what if they’re running at a loss, half of the staff is hospitalized, and there are fewer people walking through the Fremont Street Experience than there were at Fremont Street’s nadir in the mid-’90s? Without the glitz and glamor and reputation and wealth built from the labors of generations of Las Vegans, she’s just another mayor of an aging Fresno-sized city. 

She certainly can’t have that. It’s why she won’t shut up.

Don’t let her bumbling trick you, Mayor Goodman’s position is not a viewpoint constructed upon ignorance. If it was, she would have changed it as soon as President Trump, of all people, told her that she was wrong. She would have changed it when Stephen Cloobeck, CEO of Diamond Resorts, gave her ideas the lack of respect they deserve. She would have changed it when Georgia tried to reopen and several of Georgia’s businesses refused. No, her viewpoint is clearly built on personal avarice, fueled with malice against her constituents. Her seemingly aimless and addled behavior just helps her get away with it. 

Like Jar Jar Binks, Mayor Goodman likes to play the fool in front of the camera, and like Jar Jar Binks, she deserves every bit of ire sent her way. However, as we peer past the surface of her behavior to witness the evil within, there’s something else we must remember about the Sith. 

There are always two of them. No more, no less.

David Colborne has been active in the Libertarian Party for two decades. During that time, he has blogged intermittently on his personal blog, as well as the Libertarian Party of Nevada blog, and ran for office twice as a Libertarian candidate. He serves on the Executive Committee for both his state and county Libertarian Party chapters. He is the father of two sons and an IT professional. You can follow him on Twitter @DavidColborne or email him at [email protected].