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Nevada’s celebrity pimp has died: Let’s save the tears and hand-wringing

John L. Smith
John L. Smith
Opinion
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Dennis Hof died in bed. Go figure.

After ringing in his 72nd birthday Monday surrounded by whores of every stripe, Nevada’s celebrity pimp and state Assembly candidate was found unresponsive in the sack Tuesday morning, which sounds more like an occupational hazard than a medical condition.

Too soon?

Sorry. But that brand of wisecrack defined Hof’s rise from sleazy obscurity to undeniable celebrity as Nevada’s most famous flesh peddler. He mixed a sense of humor with shameless self-promotion and created a multi-brothel empire built on the backs of prostitutes who only rarely accused him of sexual assault.

“There’s no business like ho business,” Hof liked to say.

And selling sex made him a star.

In addition to the licensed prostitutes in attendance, others joining in Hof’s celebration included his campaign manager Chuck Muth, Americans for Tax Reform President Grover Norquist, former Maricopa County, Arizona, Sheriff Joe Arpaio and porn actor Ron Jeremy. (Insert your own punchline here.)

The bald-headed brothel baron and central figure in the successful HBO reality series “Cathouse” became about as close to a household name as a pimp can be in America outside the Senate. With Robert Grossman as his Boswell, Hof added a memoir titled, “The Art of the Pimp: One Man’s Search For Love, Sex, and Money” and a comic book called “Sir Daddy.”

Like many pimps operating legally in Nevada, Hof sometimes tangled with Nye County elected officials. It turns out some of them didn’t appreciate his sense of humor, or his unwillingness to consistently follow the rules in the only state in the Union that stoops so low as to sanction the sale of sex.

And like most pimps, when prompted, Hof could make his racket sound like he was doing the Lord’s work, saving working women from the dangerous street life and providing a service to undernourished libidos. Nevermind that some of his employees were delivered to his door by less celebrated practitioners of pimp craft. While the women who appeared on his show often displayed affection for the boss, Hof died at a time he was battling sexual assault allegations by a former brothel worker.

Hof’s early life taught him a lesson that I suppose you could say he took to an extreme. The Arizona native began working as a 10-year-old lot boy at a Dairy Queen. It was that job sweeping that led to an epiphany for the young entrepreneur: A paycheck made having fun possible. In his entertaining memoir, he recalled, “I put most of my money into pinball machines and that’s when I first became aware of the connection between money and pleasure: If you had money, you had a good time. If not, you didn’t.”

Making profit from pleasure was a twist on his horny Horatio Alger story, and most pimps would have counted their blessings. Hof was just getting started.

Right when we figured Hof had done about everything possible to promote himself and his businesses, which included more traditional service stations and convenience stores, something truly jaw-dropping happened. A reality series star and real estate developer drew the attention of the world by running for President. Hof’s own libertarian — and libertine — political interests were piqued. The pimp decided to run for public office.

“Politicians give prostitutes a bad name,” Hof once told me.

In the time of Donald Trump, who could reasonably say Republicans wouldn’t support Dennis Hof?

Hof started calling himself “the Trump from Pahrump” and national media outlets found him fascinating. He ate up the publicity along the way to knocking off Assembly District 36 incumbent James Oscarson in the June Republican primary. In a Nevada Republican Party with a political compass on tilt, Hof was a sign of the times.

During the primary campaign, Hof plastered billboards throughout his district, at least one inanely pronouncing “Make Nevada Nevada Again!” Whatever that means.

But he got the connection between politics and the pimp trade.

“I run a licensed business in Nevada, but all of a sudden I’m being called a pimp,” he said. “Well, when he calls me a pimp, I say, ‘Who better to handle the political whores in Carson City?’ Legalized prostitution is a real clean, nice business, and politics is a dirty, disgusting business, and the people that are in it can’t be trusted. The bottom line is, it’s pay to play.”

Sure it is, but most political practitioners aspire to a higher calling.

Not everyone in the GOP thought the prospect of Hof’s election was a good idea. Neither U.S. Sen. Dean Heller nor gubernatorial candidate Adam Laxalt would go near him. Initially, the Republican Assembly Caucus voted not to endorse him after his primary win. In interviews, a couple GOP lawmakers said they didn’t intend to caucus with him during the 2019 session.

In a conservative district with few Democrats, he almost certainly would have won a seat in the Assembly. His name will remain on the November ballot, so it’s possible he’ll prevail in spirit before county commissioners in multiple jurisdictions determine his replacement.

Although Hof’s death has already garnered plenty of condolences, they shouldn’t dim the lights on the Strip. Or those in Pahrump, for that matter. The Silver State should save its tears. Although I’ll miss Hof’s sense of humor in an otherwise unfunny campaign season, he was a calculating flesh peddler through and through. And in Nevada, pimps have never been in short supply.

John L. Smith is an author and longtime columnist. Contact him at [email protected]. On Twitter: @jlnevadasmith

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