The most important thing to know about Reno’s No Kings event Oct. 18 is that it was significantly bigger than any of the No Kings events in Las Vegas.

Granted, this is a parochial sentiment, another entry in the longstanding rivalry between Northern and Southern Nevada — or, more accurately, the rivalry Northern Nevadans have with Southern Nevada while Southern Nevadans direct their rivalrous attention toward Los Angeles or New York City. Fair enough. If Southern Nevada took the rivalry between the two halves of the state half as seriously as Northern Nevada did, UNR would likely no longer have the money to grow its real estate empire in downtown Reno.

Then again, the flagship university’s growing ability to build public housing — for its students, at least — demonstrates that Nevadans are not categorically opposed to government-provided services.

This occasional support of public services doesn’t mean Americans — including the 18,000 or so who attended Reno’s No Kings event — are embracing Marxism or “hate America,” as House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) claimed before the rally. Unless anarchists and violent criminals are becoming uncharacteristically law-abiding, there weren’t many of those in attendance during the event, either — only one attendee was arrested for a preexisting felony and misdemeanor warrant.

According to White House Deputy Chief of Staff for Policy Stephen Miller, the Democratic Party is a “domestic, extremist organization.” Here’s that extremism in action:

Watch out, Nevada! It’s two-term county commissioner and gubernatorial candidate Alexis Hill reading a stump speech — from her phone! Each scroll of her thumb surely brought Nevadans closer to fully automated luxury gay space Georgism through her support of reforming Nevada’s property tax system — the same system I described as neither uniform nor equal when I was still active in the Libertarian Party five years ago.

(As far as regrettable political associations for 18- to 40-year-olds go, I could have done worse — but I digress.)

All right, surely this picture will drive home the threat to the constitutional republic, for which it stands, one nation under God, these indivisible protesters represent:

Oh no! It’s a murder (or some other suitably threatening-sounding collective noun) of protesters wearing inflatable costumes, just like the ones Hamas didn’t use to kill Israelis on Oct. 7! Brace yourselves!

In case it wasn’t obvious or my tongue was insufficiently lodged in my cheek, Reno’s No Kings rally was as edgy and countercultural as a stuffed animal lovingly carried by a young child.

This was not unusual. Reno’s rally was just one of thousands held across the country as an exercise of the right to peaceably assemble that’s guaranteed under the First Amendment of our Constitution.

What’s more American than that?

Those who profess to stand for “law-abiding Americans,” meanwhile, responded by creating social media accounts on Bluesky to troll the relatively left-leaning social media platform with overtly partisan political messaging that almost certainly violates the Hatch Act, which prohibits partisan political activity while on the clock or on federal property. Due to the ongoing shutdown of the federal government, agencies are supposed to stop all nonessential functions — brigading social media platforms, regardless of the legality of the content, is as nonessential as it gets.

To amuse Vice President JD Vance and Secretary of War Pete Hegseth while protesters rallied nationwide, the Marine Corps fired 155-millimeter artillery shells over Interstate 5 between Los Angeles and San Diego. Despite assurances from the military that the “live-fire Amphibious Capabilities Demonstration” would not threaten passing motorists, Gov. Gavin Newsom closed the freeway out of what turned out to be a justifiable abundance of caution — one of the shells prematurely detonated on members of the vice president’s protective detail, who were parked on a ramp of the fortuitously closed freeway.

Finally, President Donald Trump responded to the rallies with multiple AI-generated Truth Social posts. In one post, Trump posted a video of himself donning a crown and raising a sword while Avenged Sevenfold’s Hail to the King played in the background. In another post, Trump posted a video of himself wearing a crown while flying a fighter jet labeled “KING TRUMP” that he uses to drop feces on protesters the way aerial firefighters drop water on a wildfire.

But sure, it’s the people waving American flags while wearing inflatable costumes who hate America, not the people handing taxpayer-funded social media accounts to partisan trolls or the ones dropping artillery shells on major freeways. 

Certainly the man who hates America the most is the one shouting “No Kings,” not the one in the White House who’s openly fantasizing about wearing a crown and drowning his subjects in shit.

David Colborne ran for public office twice. He is now an IT manager, the father of two sons, and a recurring opinion columnist for The Nevada Independent. You can follow him on Mastodon @[email protected], on Bluesky @davidcolborne.bsky.social, on Threads @davidcolbornenv or email him at [email protected]. You can also message him on Signal at dcolborne.64.